These days there are more and more people who are getting married for a second time. However, just because you have been down the aisle before doesn't mean that you can't make this wedding the best one yet!
Here are a few tips to help you make sure that your wedding day is the best day ever.
Often people who are remarrying will have children from a previous marriage. It is essential that they are among the first people that you tell about the upcoming wedding. While your kids may have loved having your fiancé around until now, when you get married, your fiancé will have a different, more formal role in your children's lives. You need to ensure that they feel like they will be part of the day and that they know that your marriage won't change their part in your life.
You should also tell your immediate family and ex-spouses if you have children together. You can then go about sharing the great news with your friends.
It is usually the case that second brides or grooms won't want to have the same raucous hen or stag night that they had first time around. In many cases, they choose to have a nice dinner out with their friends or an even, such as a wine-tasting evening. Whatever you decide to do, the focus should just be on enjoying each other's company.
You will want to match your invitations to the type of wedding that you are going to have. If it is formal, then more formal invitations are appropriate. However, if you are having a relaxed ceremony, your invitations can reflect this.
If you will be hosting the wedding yourselves (which is often the case with people who are getting married for a second time), the wording of your invitations are likely to be a little bit different from normal. Here is a simple example:
Ms. Alison Archer
Mr Peter Brown
request the honour of your presence at their wedding.
Alternatively, you can also include your children in the invitation:
Ms Alison Archer
with her daughter, Elizabeth Archer
Mr Peter Brown
with his son, James Brown
request the pleasure of your company a the joining of their families.
Many people who are getting married for a second time feel that they don't need the big, white dress type wedding. Others, however, may not have been in a position to have their dream wedding first time around and want to make sure that this is it. Either way, you should wear whatever you feel comfortable in. Also, just because you have been married before doesn't mean that you can't wear a white wedding dress - you can wear what you like (it is a bit of a myth that a remarrying bride can't wear pure white)! The only thing that some people leave out the second time is a veil, but this can be easily replaced with a tiara or flowers.
If this is your fiancé's first marriage, they might want different things from the wedding than you. It may be that you don't want the full on wedding experience as you have already been there. However, make sure that you find out what your partner wants as it is their day too. The best advice is just to talk to each other and let each other know what your expectations and wishes are. This way, you can be sensitive to your partner's wishes when planning the day and, with a bit of compromise, you will both have exactly the day that you want.
Whatever you do, don't say "Last time, I did it like this.". This is likely to alienate your partner. They want to know that they matter the most to you and probably don't want to be reminded of your previous relationships.
How to deal with families, both before and after the wedding, is something that you should talk about early on. After you are married, you may have your partner's kids living with you (or vice versa) and, if you haven't already, you are likely to move into the same house. This means that there will be heaps of stuff to find spaces for (or get rid of). There is nothing worse than starting a life together by arguing about who has to throw what out - so avoid this by talking about it before hand. That way, you will both know where each other stands and be able to plan accordingly.
Often, when people get married for a second time (especially if they are in their 30s or older) they have all of the household items that they need. If this is the case, you can always ask for donations towards your honeymoon (there are places such as the Giftlist where you can do this online). If there are households items that you would like, don't be shy.
Some people will be of the view that if they gave you a gift at your first wedding, they shouldn't have to buy you another one. However, most people will recognise that this is a fresh start and will want to buy you a gift to celebrate it. As you may be at the stage in your life where you have a lot of the household-type items, it may be easier to set up a gift register.