Written by Grace
Photos by Murray Lloyd
 Chris and I met in October 1993 at a housewarming party in Sydney.
He was too shy to approach me so a friend of mine introduced us. The following weekend we went out on our first date.
I was 19 and Chris was 33 when we met. The age gap has never been an issue for us, although in the early days we did endure a lot of stares and nasty comments from strangers.
Within 6 months I was pregnant with our son Morgan. It was a big shock to all our family and friends, and even more to us. Chris phoned me in the middle of one night to tell me he loved me and was ready to be a father and I knew then that if I had our baby, everything was going to work out. I never once considered our relationship might not work out and I could be left as a single parent. I had fallen pregnant for a reason, which I didn't find out until later. Nine months later Morgan was born and we were a family.
 A couple of months later my mother was diagnosed with Cancer and we were told she would be lucky to live a year. She made it to Morgan's first birthday but in July 1996 she passed away. I knew then that I had Morgan when I did so that my mother could see and get to know her first grandchild. Before she died, Chris promised my mother he would take care of me and Morgan for the rest of our lives, and in return she asked us to promise her that one day we would get married.
In 1998 we moved to New Zealand to be nearer Chris' parents and bought a beautiful home on the beach. I was regularly nagging Chris about marriage but ... nothing! By mid 1999, I was fed up of waiting for Chris to propose, so I told him I would leave if we weren't married by the end of 2000. This obviously worked because he proposed on New Years Eve while we were sitting on the beach at Plimmerton. Although he didn't get down on one knee, so I made him do it again properly!!
 We didn't want a big traditional wedding, so we decided to get married at the Sheraton in Fiji in August. Not everyone was happy about our plans, but we were determined that as it was our wedding, the only people we had to make happy were ourselves.
Then in May, the coup began in Fiji. At first we thought we'd be all right as our wedding was in August, but the situation got worse and in June we cancelled our Fijian wedding and started making plans to have it at home in Wellington.
Although we never wanted a church wedding, when we found out we could have a civil ceremony at Old St Paul's our minds were made up. We loved the architecture and history of the church and I could have one of my childhood dreams of church bells at my wedding. Our wedding was set for the 19th of August so that meant we only had two-and-a-half months to organise everything.
 My dress was already being made by Carol from Glad Rags, and it was very different to the style I had always dreamed of having. A big dress with lot's of material would just look odd in Fiji, and even though we had cancelled our trip, it was too late to change my mind on the dress. I had planned on a plain silk dress for Fiji, but then we found some gorgeous lace, which was more beautiful than any fabric I had ever seen. It had small amount of sequins through it, which caught the light and made the lace look as though it was sparkling when I moved. Finding the right accessories took a lot of time and most were bought in the week before the wedding. I wanted my dress to look unlike anything I'd ever seen in any bridal magazines, and it did. I couldn't have imagined a dress any more beautiful.
The big day arrived and we woke to a day with weather worse than we had imagined. It poured with rain, there was a howling wind and it was really cold. Not a good day to be wearing a dress designed for warm, sunny Fiji!
I was upset about the weather but the morning ended up being so stressful I soon forgot about the weather. To make matters worse we had all gotten up late and were now pushed for time. Chris was sent out to the florist to pick up my flowers while the best man (who is a hairdresser) was doing my hair. I left the house with the front door keys in one hand and my bouquet and mobile phone in the other. A thoroughly modern bride.
I did keep to one tradition...arriving late. However it was not out of choice but due to the fact that we really were running late, nearly 20 minutes.
We wrote the whole ceremony ourselves and we wanted it to be not just about our commitment to each other but also to Morgan, who had made everyone want to cry when he walked into the church with a smile on his face carrying our rings on a cushion I had made in purple and gold. My uncle walked me down the isle after my bridesmaid had unsuccessfully tried to calm my nerves before we entered the church.
We had two of our guests do a reading each and played our favourite piece of opera by Pavarotti. After we said our vows we lit three candles, one for our marriage, one for Morgan and one in memory of my mother. Everything about our wedding ceremony had a meaning behind it, and many of our guests said they were moved to tears by the intimacy of our ceremony.
Chris and I both relaxed once we were outside the church greeting our guests. We went to various spots around Wellington for photos and battled with the wind as I tried to stop my veil from blowing away. However it was a lot of fun, and the bad weather ended up providing us with some really funny photos.
For our reception we chose the Wellesley, a beautiful Georgian style building that was formerly a very posh gentleman's only club. We had chosen purple and gold as the colours for our invitation for Fiji, so we kept those colours for the reception. We were lucky that the manager of the Wellesley gave us free reign over how we wanted the reception room to look and what sort of food we wanted served. We were thrilled that we got to decide on absolutely everything.
A friend of ours did a series of cartoon-like drawings of Chris and I as bride and groom and Morgan as the page boy and we used these throughout the order of service books, menus and placecards.
We had hired an entertainer, who dressed up as a very proper old fashioned English butler named Lambton, to great our guests and make sure they were comfortable and act as an MC during the reception. He kept everyone laughing the whole night and left us free to enjoy ourselves while he dealt with any little matters.
Our wedding cake was slightly unconventional, as there was not only the usual bride and groom on the top, but on the second tier we included a little figure of Morgan sitting down looking up at us. Even the favours we gave to our guests were different. Instead of coated almonds I bought home made fudge in 5 different flavours and sliced cubes off each and put them into little bags I had made in purple and gold. It was a really time consuming effort but we were told that everyone had taken their favours with them as there were no bags left behind.
 After the main course Chris and I made our speeches (which was nerve-wracking). Although we hadn't asked anyone else to say anything, a friend of Chris' spoke, as did my uncle. Eventually the best man was coaxed into saying a few words, and his speech turned out to be the nicest as it was heartfelt and totally honest.
We danced our first dances to 'Fallen', by Lauren Wood and 'Love is all Around' by Wet Wet Wet, and after that we spent the rest of the night on the dance floor with our guests.
Everyone had a great time, but Chris and I definitely had the best time. Finally after all those years of waiting, Chris and I were married. Within a few days all our guests from overseas had gone home, the house was quiet, and everything was back to normal. We both felt a sense of sadness that it was all over, and it took me a couple of weeks before I started to feel better. We didn't go on a honeymoon, as I had only wanted to go to Fiji and it was still unsafe to go. Maybe one day!
Married life for us isn't really any different, we both hoped it wouldn't change the dynamics of our relationship and it hasn't. I think Marriage has brought us even closer together and to the rest of the world we are now husband and wife not just two people who are living together.
If I had to give other couples one piece of advice, it would be to plan everything carefully and do things your own way. Chris and I are both glad that our wedding day was just as we wanted it.
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