Ok so I've been married for almost 3 weeks now... And we had a lovely day, everyone had lots of fun and commented on how its one of the best weddings they have been to (of course they are probably just saying that, its kinda like telling the bride she looks beautiful lol)
Is it normal for me to be dissappointed with lots of stuff??

Like, getting ready, a had to FIND someone to help me into my dress.. everyone was faffing about my bridesmaid coz her zip broke and had to be sewn into it, and I was left standing waiting for someone to help me into mine. It wound up being crooked, done up too tight at the top and too loose at the bottom.. so I had bits hanging over the top of the dress and it didnt pull in around my waist like it was made for.

The theme was lost pretty much... I had planned an Alice in wonderland theme, but apparently the people setting everything up for me didnt understand. The Tea party was beautiful but not very mad hatter... everything was in straight lines and symmetrical and matching... I had spent months collecting hundreds of teacups/teapots and stuff to scatter at random down the table. The cupcakes I had asked to have eat me written on them didn't.. I dont think they liked my theme very much I wanted everything random.. like a lot of nonsense.. they made it all make sense. like the "this way" "that way" signs were pointing in the same directions, I dunno... i just think the theme I tried so hard to create, because people didnt like it they didnt do it. Im kinda gutted coz NONE of the photos reflect the theme at all..

Ohwell... Just wondering if anyone else had this problem? I feel like Im having a bit of a whine lol.
I'd love to be a wedding planner and help other girls get exactly what they want!

OMG!!! I am sooo glad you posted this!! I feel exactly the same way!! I hope others reply saying the same.. and I also hope that these small disappointments I have will fade with time, leaving all the good memories of the day.

TBH it has been seriously bugging me.

I just wish I could make those tiny details perfect. If only I could do it again!! They are such small things and yet they just stick out massively in my mind. Like the fact that my nails took too long and then I ended up totally stressed just before we walked out of the hotel room to head down to the 'aisle'. And that I had my dancing shoes on for the garter toss, I wanted people to see my wedding shoes!!! Grrr...

No-one else seems to think these small things matter but me

Really cool ideas!!! Only problem is mum just sold all the teacups/pots so I have nothing left lol.

Apparently this is normal... a couple of my friends have the same thing.. and apparently it does fade away. Im still really stoked about the wedding! Just dissapointed that there are so many things that I had planned that I didnt get lol.

Oh I mean the people setting it up for me. Everyone wanted everything too pretty and pictureque, and forgot that that wasnt what I wanted. I wanted the crazy/different/arty/funky wedding that youd look at twice and just go "what the?" lol. Instead I got the classic/elegant/traditional wedding that I didnt want lol. Nonetheless, it was still gorgous, but would love to do it again myself and have exactly what I wanted lol

Claun you are a very positive person... I like!

Oh whoops - quote fail!

Would be VERY cool! I leave the country on 9th Nov though.. doesnt give me much time OR money (off on the OE) or I so would!!
Will def see if I can come up with some options though.. I may know someone who could take the photos and have a couple hair/makeup friends... will do some investigating.

Only other thing is I dont wana trash the dress beyond repair lol (wish I had the guts to). I havent drycleaned it yet... will hold fire for now maybe...
Has anyone done a trash the dress before??

Jen_86 wrote on Oct 14^th, 2010, 4:12pm:


ha I was thinking exactly the same - and really light foundation with cherry red lipstick. Man you could just go to town making that set!

Maybe without the gaggle of Harajuku schoolgirls though..

You totally have to post your pics Emmasoon2bc (i guess you're now EmmaC?)!  I wanna see!

Oh hun, I had a couple of those things! I guess it's just the biggest party that we're ever going to throw, all about us, so it's a shame when the odd thing gets overlooked / goes wrong. Even though in the long run, and in the bigger picture, it really doesn't matter / we forget!

Mine:

• I should've gotten a hair trial cos I wasn't super happy, though it looked good!
• Maybe a better video option - my brother on the handicam didn't get any of DH's face, and missed the dance (luckily FIL got this) and speeches!
• We forgot to have photos using the sparklers I'd begged from a friend back at New Years, thinking they'd do awesome pics
• Someone gave me boobs and DH a (huge) thingy on our fingerprint art (see my pics). I'm torn between thinking it's funny and being gutted that it lowers the tone of it...
• I would've boned my dress I think, as it kept slipping, and I wish I'd rearraged the skirt more often for pics!
• I forgot to give anyone a run sheet, they were at home, and so was my list of photos at the church

Whew, thanks for that out! They're all super minor things though, and have mostly faded! Hope the same for you. I still consider our day to have been perfect!

EmmaSoon2BC wrote on Oct 15^th, 2010, 2:49pm:


Your photos are great and you look really happy, it looks like a fun day

The only thing that still annoys me slightly more now that ive seen some of my photos is the way my dress was sitting! not quite even so slightly unflattering in some pics! but it was a great day so all in all im stoked that all my plannning worked out !!! and everyone had a great day!

Im a bit dissapointed about a few things also. I didnt have any control over the table setups we gave everything to the wedding planner the day before and were unable to meet with her again. Things like only half the chocolates were on the table, the pens that i wanted to sign the register with were on the reception tables not the signing table, we culdnt use the printed out menus as they got squished and looked silly, the fairly lights were set to blue colour not white like id asked, the music wasnt quite played right, cake icing was brown not white. Overall it went well but yeah wish i had more control on how it was all set out etc.

the biggest thing with me was the celebrant. I've never met anyone (apart from mil lol) that's so controlling or selfish. The wedding was even held up half an hour (while i drove around and around before arriving, cutting into photo time with the limo) because she moved the carefully placed throwing bouquet and no one could find it. She also decided she had to put ribbons on things I said I didn't want ribbons on as apparently you, quote, have to. She was also rude and demanding towards my family and other guests. I don't know who she thought she was!

I can't  remember, to be honest lol clearly I've driven it out of my mind! She's a Kapiti woman and I don't think she's well known.

im glad im not the only one feeling like this.

even with the day going superbly, there are still a few things that you feel if you could only redo it, you'd change this or that.

i too have a theme in mind but looking at the prof photos, i dont even see it. since i wasn't there to set it up, things didnt really flow together.

it's been bugging me for days since the wedding, no matter how much i tell myself it was a lovely day and grateful that no one we know was hurt from the earthquake and all that but just being able to talk about it here and knowing that im not alone (and shouldn't feel bad about feeling like this) is already making me feel better about it.

thanks for posting this thread emmasoon2bc

I totally know what you are feeling.

My dress wasn't totally what I wanted (the dress was fine, but the petticoats were no the 50's crinoline I had imagined and explained to the dressmaker by any stretch of the imagination), but 2 days before there was no way that the dressmaker was going to be able to fix it.

Also, totally minor, but I was bummed that the guests didn't get their little baggies of duck food as they came in, mostly because the tag told everyone who the bridal party were and the music that we had selected.

Also, like MrsBNow, I might of passed on the Jager Bomb

OMG I am SOOO glad someone posted this. I’ve been married a few months now and it definitely hasn’t faded. I apologise in advance now but I’m about to have a SERIOUS rant. And believe it or not all of this was completely out of my control which I’m finding so hard to accept.

-We were meant to be getting married on a farm overlooking the harbour, but when we turned up for the practice rehearsal we discovered the farmer had not realised the wedding was on Friday not Saturday and he had just put cows in the paddock so there was poo everywhere! At 6am the next morning I made the decision to move the ceremony to the grass area outside the marquee.
-When DH went and picked up the walk in chiller we had hired from the liquor store, we discovered it was actually only about 2 metres cubed, so we basically didn’t have a chiller for our alcohol for 90 people.
-The chiller was faulty and it kept causing the power box to arch so the venue owner had to call in a sparky (they didn’t charge me for this which is incredible), then that still didn’t work so they had to drive to Thames and pick up a generator. Then family and friends all had to go and pick up ice on the day to chill the alcohol with.
-Even though I had a trial and I was really clear about not wanting my bridesmaids to just look like they had swept back ponytail from the front, that’s exactly what my hairdresser did, so the girls hair looked really harsh.
-The hairdresser and makeup artist had told me all about how they work as a tag team and that they send us back and forwards to ensure we are done on time. In reality they hadn’t actually talked to each other, and my makeup artist for some reason thought we had to be finished by 2:30pm, when in fact we needed to be dressed by then! So I had to have my hair and makeup done in a rush and so did 2 of the girls.
-When the videographer showed up, DH discovered that he hadn’t brought a sound system with him for the music which they had previously discussed. DH used

-No one took charge of the family photos after the ceremony and I ended up having to make a big fuss. The poor MC was stressing cos he didn’t know the people on the list – I was like “just yell out their names!” but he would’t do it so the photos ended up taking nearly an hour!
-We got only 3 different photos with our bridal party (even though I had asked for some fun photos with them), none involving the parasols we had with us the whole time, and none of DH with just the groomsmen. I got individual photos with my girls but no group photos of all us girls.
-I got no photos at all where my dress was all laid out nicely so you could properly see what it looked like, which is such a shame as it is lovely and really expensive!!
-Because we had to rush through the photoshoot we didn’t get to go to the location where we had planned to ride a motorbike and wear our gumboots and hang out in this gorgeous pohutakawa tree.
-As soon as we walked into the marquee for our grand entrance DH stood on my train and it popped the button off my loop thingee so I had to carry my train until after the meal (it was self-serve).
- DH got so drunk that he forgot half of the 1st dance that we had spent literally 3 months learning, which was really frustrating.
-My Mum came and told me half way through the dancing that the music wasn’t good enough for dancing and that if I didn’t change it soon people would start leaving. I had prearranged the music onto an iPod so for starters it couldn’t be changed. Secondly my friends absolutely loved it and we all sang at the top of our voices until we couldn’t stand any more, and I included heaps of songs that Mum had specifically requested but she was already in a tizz by then and wouldn’t even dance to them. Thirdly who does that!!! It was quite bewildering and upsetting.
-The microphone speaker went flat and DH had to go and wake up the videographer (who for some reason had gone to bed) and ask him for a power cord to get it going again.

Gosh I feel so sad now after reading all of these posts where brides were unhappy with elements of their day

Aww Mrs Alloway I hope you feel better getting all that off your chest.
It makes me so sad when brides are disappointed in their big day

MrsAlloway - I think all you can do is tell yourself that what's done is done and just focus on the positives. You can't change anything now, so why worry about them. And it sounds like you had heaps of awesome things happen, so don't let the niggly things overshadow what sounds like an amazing day.  I think you're right: everyone has stuff happen on the day that's less than perfect (I certainly did!) but you just have to let it go and get on with life, you can't really do anything else.  All the stuff that you mentioned above is totally normal, so you honestly shouldn't let it get to you too much.

If it makes you feel better I'll list the things that went wrong on my day: My walking down the aisle music wouldn't play; we ran out of bubbly after the ceremony; i didn't get any photos of me playing cricket (which is something i really wanted, but was too useless to organise); I didn't get to catch up with some people that I REALLY wanted to who came from overseas; I was so stressed out the week before that I had ZERO sleep and was a zombie; our accomodation on our wedding night turned into a joke it was so bad; actually the list is endless, but hey there's nothing I can do about it now.

I actually told myself before the wedding that I wasn't going to worry about anything going wrong, because it's too late for that. It was what it was.

Hey Mrs Alloway  
I had quite a few issues with my wedding but have learned to let them go & focus on the good points (finally).

Firstly, DH, Good BM & I were all sooo utterly shagged from the setup the night before. Poor DH has tired eyes in all our pics. And our pics weren't as artistic as what I wanted, but that was my fault for not telling this to our photographer. Also our after ceremony drinks and nibbles took ages to come out (again my fault but long story).

Best friend (Bad BM) was really uninterested and cr@p on the day (kinda ruined our relationship as this was the last straw in a string of her selfish attitude). Also I didn't get to relax with BM's the night before as i was up till 1am with the setup and refining my speech. Also didn't get many pics of things like table settings, closeup's of flowers, my seating plan... the details were really missed & this has made me want to get into wedding photography so that it doesn't happen to another bride.

I feel bad typing this as our photog was a really good mate who has done a couple of weddings but doesn't like doing them (did ours for free). Plus the other mate who took pics at my getting ready accomodation didn't pose us as i'd thought she would so wasted the beauty of the accomodation (reason I booked it was to have gorgeous "getting ready" pics) - again, my fault I was too stressed to tell her when she turned up.

Umm actually thats the main stuff. At least I have come out of this with a renewed interest in an old hobby, photography. I am currently working towards doing some weddings, for instance for the bride while she gets ready, but not as a sole photog for a whole wedding. Yet  

Mrs Alloway,

I think maybe you are being too hard on yourself. Do I detect a bit of a perfectionist streak? (please don't take that the wrong way, I have a perfectionist streak myself). I think when you start to compare your wedding to other peoples it stops being about what was important.  Maybe you need to give yourself and your wedding the credit it's due and that would help you to stop focusing on the bad stuff. You worked really hard to organise your wedding and you should be congratulated. So what if some stuff didn't go to plan, it's all part of life and it's not the end of the world. You did an amazing job and you got married! Hugs your way. I'm sure when you get your photos up you will feel better about it all.

Normally that would be true, but believe it or not DH was much more upset about it than me! We had limo’s and I was really excited about having the ceremony then sitting alone with him in one while the bridal party sat in the other so we could talk about the ceremony. I was then quite bewildered when we got in the car after a lovely ceremony and said to him “so what did you think of that?” and his response was to look at me with this sad look on his face and say “you would not believe the day I’ve had.” Not what I expected, and then afterwards he stressed all through dinner about the sound system (or lack of) and then the next day he went on and on about all the things the photographer did wrong… to be honest, I think if he had been really happy about the day I think I would have found it much easier to deal with, but I can’t help but feel a bit of a burden with him being upset too. Having said that, he seems to be letting it go much easier, while I (who did most of the planning) am finding it much harder.

Sorry! My DH is a little bit different than most (which normally is a good thing!).