Weddings.co.nz Discussion Forum - "So, how is married life?"

Lillybeth

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Re: "So, how is married life?"
Reply #15 - Jul 29^th, 2010, 2:19pm

Can I just say, to me this was/is the MOST. ANNOYING. question. ever.

There were a few quiet but public conflicts surrounding our marriage and moreso after the wedding things were tough...moving, upheaval and I was a fair bit emotional, so I dreaded this question. Things weren't going well - there was little stability in our situation so what was I supposed to say?

And if they ask it because they're just searching for an ice-breaker type question (to sound friendly), kind of like 'How's it going?' - I give a generic, positive answer because I'm an optimistic/happy person.

I'm much happier now, we're more settled etc, but this question is still basically asking about your relationship...I do find that too personal to share with most people.

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Mrs Mish

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Re: "So, how is married life?"
Reply #16 - Jul 31^st, 2010, 2:25am

MM2010 wrote on Jul 29^th, 2010, 1:13pm:

Mrs E wrote on Jul 21^st, 2010, 7:48am:

Nothing much changed for me, we already lived together (had done for a couple of years), and it was really just the difference between being "together" and being "married".

I love calling DH my husband, introducing him as my husband, saying I'm "Mrs X" ...

Things haven't really changed, just that we're more secure in our relationship. Not that we weren't before, but YKWIM!

I'm in the same boat & I quite enjoy saying "my husband..." in sentences when talking to people. Before marriage I use to refer him as my partner cos we'd been together for over 5 years, but I couldn't get use to saying "fiance" for some reason. I only used "DF" on the forum

I'm the same, I find myself calling him my partner more than fiance, and we have been engaged for 2 years! crikey Cheesy

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Mrs Mish

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Re: "So, how is married life?"
Reply #17 - Jul 31^st, 2010, 2:28am

Have many people (esp OMTs) found that it's like a stage of questions... I have heard this from a few friends' experiences and was wondering how common it is.

There must be some mint comebacks out there.... Wink

You are together a while and it's "so when are you getting engaged?"
Then engaged and "when are you getting married?"
Then married and apart from "so how's married life", the "so when are you having kids"
And have 1 kid and "so when are you having another?"

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Present ALP

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Re: "So, how is married life?"
Reply #18 - Jul 31^st, 2010, 11:19am

Mrs Mish wrote on Jul 31^st, 2010, 2:28am:

Have many people (esp OMTs) found that it's like a stage of questions... I have heard this from a few friends' experiences and was wondering how common it is.

There must be some mint comebacks out there.... Wink

You are together a while and it's "so when are you getting engaged?"
Then engaged and "when are you getting married?"
Then married and apart from "so how's married life", the "so when are you having kids"
And have 1 kid and "so when are you having another?"

I'm dreading these questions! I get the "when are you getting married" from people all the time, even my workmates who know when I'm getting married! Have they nothing else to talk about?
I am especially dreading the kids question. We have been trying and it's not happening. It's an emotional subject for me as I'm the one with the problem (endo) and don't want to be discussing it with people I don't want knowing. Undecided

There are other icebreakers out there to use.

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mrs_ana_b

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Re: "So, how is married life?"
Reply #19 - Jul 31^st, 2010, 12:58pm

Mrs Mish wrote on Jul 31^st, 2010, 2:28am:

Have many people (esp OMTs) found that it's like a stage of questions... I have heard this from a few friends' experiences and was wondering how common it is.

There must be some mint comebacks out there.... Wink

You are together a while and it's "so when are you getting engaged?"
Then engaged and "when are you getting married?"
Then married and apart from "so how's married life", the "so when are you having kids"
And have 1 kid and "so when are you having another?"

I don't have any good comeback for any of these questions!
But TBH they annoy me more than the "how's married life question", because to me that is more of a conversation starter as opposed to just plain nosey questions! Roll Eyes

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Mrs GG

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Re: "So, how is married life?"
Reply #20 - Aug 2^nd, 2010, 11:03am

Quote:

Mrs Mish wrote on Jul 31^st, 2010, 2:28am:

Have many people (esp OMTs) found that it's like a stage of questions... I have heard this from a few friends' experiences and was wondering how common it is.

There must be some mint comebacks out there.... Wink

You are together a while and it's "so when are you getting engaged?"
Then engaged and "when are you getting married?"
Then married and apart from "so how's married life", the "so when are you having kids"
And have 1 kid and "so when are you having another?"

I don't have any good comeback for any of these questions!
But TBH they annoy me more than the "how's married life question", because to me that is more of a conversation starter as opposed to just plain nosey questions! Roll Eyes

I totally understand that... we don't have immediate plans to start a family and lucky, no one has asked us when we're planning to but I should imagine that in a couple of years the questions will start ! I think it's really nosey and I personally wouldn't ask someone that question... it's prying into their private business & you wouldn't normally ask someone about that!!

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Vegas Full Member Offline 13 Feb 201 Posts: 145 Gender:	Re: "So, how is married life?" Reply #21 - Aug 2^nd, 2010, 11:06pm Actually another one that I've had a few times is 'Why did you get married?' I'm not quite sure what to say to that... Um - because we wanted to...
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mrs_ana_b Ex Member	Re: "So, how is married life?" Reply #22 - Aug 3^rd, 2010, 12:51am Vegas wrote on Aug 2^nd, 2010, 11:06pm: Actually another one that I've had a few times is 'Why did you get married?' I'm not quite sure what to say to that... Um - because we wanted to... What the?? That is really rude??!?
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Mrs GG

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Re: "So, how is married life?"
Reply #23 - Aug 3^rd, 2010, 11:23am

Quote:

Vegas wrote on Aug 2^nd, 2010, 11:06pm:

Actually another one that I've had a few times is 'Why did you get married?' I'm not quite sure what to say to that...
Um - because we wanted to... Huh

What the?? That is really rude??!? Huh

We had this prior to getting married. Some of my friends couldn't understand why we were getting married because to them, most people our age don't!

I spoke to soon the other day regarding the "kids?" question. A friend asked me when, I said four of five years (our plan) and then she said "Oh, come on!!" I was like.... uh, no. Why does it matter to other people when/if we have kids??

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Mrs R

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Re: "So, how is married life?"
Reply #24 - Aug 3^rd, 2010, 7:32pm

Vegas wrote on Aug 2^nd, 2010, 11:06pm:

Actually another one that I've had a few times is 'Why did you get married?' I'm not quite sure what to say to that...
Um - because we wanted to... Huh

I got asked this by a work colleague [a woman around the same age as my Mum] before getting married, but not only did she ask why we were getting married, but also started going on about how it's such a waste of money and time and it's unnecessary etc. I thought it was so rude, and honestly just didn't know what to say in response!

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Mrs Mish

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Re: "So, how is married life?"
Reply #25 - Aug 3^rd, 2010, 9:35pm

Quote:

Vegas wrote on Aug 2^nd, 2010, 11:06pm:

Actually another one that I've had a few times is 'Why did you get married?' I'm not quite sure what to say to that...
Um - because we wanted to... Huh

What the?? That is really rude??!? Huh

OMG!

Good reply options: Tongue

to married person: "so why did you get married?

to unmarried person: "so why aren't you married?"

or just outright: "What would make you ask that?"

Usually to random questions I manage to do the deadpan serious face with a sarcastic answer.
TBH I only think of good answers after these things happen.

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Present ALP

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Re: "So, how is married life?"
Reply #26 - Aug 4^th, 2010, 12:15am

Mrs Mish wrote on Aug 3^rd, 2010, 9:35pm:

Quote:

Vegas wrote on Aug 2^nd, 2010, 11:06pm:

Actually another one that I've had a few times is 'Why did you get married?' I'm not quite sure what to say to that...
Um - because we wanted to... Huh

What the?? That is really rude??!? Huh

OMG!

Good reply options: Tongue

to married person: "so why did you get married?

to unmarried person: "so why aren't you married?"

or just outright: "What would make you ask that?"

Usually to random questions I manage to do the deadpan serious face with a sarcastic answer.
TBH I only think of good answers after these things happen.

Oh how I wish I could do that! Haha I love it!

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Mrs Ford

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Re: "So, how is married life?"
Reply #27 - Aug 4^th, 2010, 12:11pm

Question: "Why did you get married?"

List of possible answers depending on your mood:
"the sex is just that good"
"he's rich"
"the life insurance payout is better if it's legal"
"to get closer to his brother"
"we were drunk"
"it was a trial run for my next marriage"

Honestly some people are so rude! Like you have to justify WHY you would marry someone or what your plans for children are.

We didn't really have a chance to be asked the "when are you having kids?" question, not that many people know but we never said we were trying and then surprised our families when it happened pretty quick. Thankfully they are all really excited and no one has said anything rude to me... I am highly emotional and slightly crazy lately so who knows what I might say!

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Present ALP

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Re: "So, how is married life?"
Reply #28 - Aug 4^th, 2010, 7:03pm

Mrs Ford wrote on Aug 4^th, 2010, 12:11pm:

Question: "Why did you get married?"

List of possible answers depending on your mood:
"the sex is just that good"
"he's rich"
"the life insurance payout is better if it's legal"
"to get closer to his brother"
"we were drunk"
"it was a trial run for my next marriage"

Honestly some people are so rude! Like you have to justify WHY you would marry someone or what your plans for children are.

We didn't really have a chance to be asked the "when are you having kids?" question, not that many people know but we never said we were trying and then surprised our families when it happened pretty quick. Thankfully they are all really excited and no one has said anything rude to me... I am highly emotional and slightly crazy lately so who knows what I might say!

I use this because everyone knows he's not! It shuts them up!

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Mrs GG

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Re: "So, how is married life?"
Reply #29 - Aug 4^th, 2010, 7:56pm

Present ALP wrote on Aug 4^th, 2010, 7:03pm:

Mrs Ford wrote on Aug 4^th, 2010, 12:11pm:

Question: "Why did you get married?"

List of possible answers depending on your mood:
"the sex is just that good"
"he's rich"
"the life insurance payout is better if it's legal"
"to get closer to his brother"
"we were drunk"
"it was a trial run for my next marriage"

Honestly some people are so rude! Like you have to justify WHY you would marry someone or what your plans for children are.

We didn't really have a chance to be asked the "when are you having kids?" question, not that many people know but we never said we were trying and then surprised our families when it happened pretty quick. Thankfully they are all really excited and no one has said anything rude to me... I am highly emotional and slightly crazy lately so who knows what I might say!

I use this because everyone knows he's not! It shuts them up!

Brilliant.

Perhaps I could say, "I wanted to have sex!" as people only assuming one or two things apparently if you get married at 23! Wink

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